Twillingbottom's Field Guide

Bear Necessities

A Return to the Wild

With our first foray into the wide world of Entomo-Herpetology concluded, we decided to turn our efforts to a more ursine pursuit. The young elf lass, Aelith, as she called herself, searched out Luthien as we gathered at the bar to celebrate our victory in the cellars. Apparently, Luthien is rather well travelled (surprising as she looks quite young, she must moisturise), and has journeyed to Aelith’s village of Forlond in the past. The young lady was beside herself, upset with the disappearance of the moonlight bear, and needed assistance to find the creature. Of course I was willing to accompany her, as what kind of gentleman would I be to let such a beautiful young lady wander these dangerous wilds by herself (and by danger I mean the lascivious eyes of one Berrian Meliamne!). We decided to spend the night in the inn to collect ourselves and begin our foray into the Hinterlands in the morning.


We set out, north-west of the Tumbledown Inn, heading towards Aelith’s home. It felt good to be out in the forest again, with the sun shining, avians aviating and greenery growing. Finally a chance for some quality Science! After a few days travel, Aelith lead us to a clearing in the forest near her village, and in the middle, there was the lair of the bear (ha, poetry without my knowledge!). As expected, the lair was bare, save for bear hair (hee hee, I truly must stop…). As I was collecting a few samples for my catalogue, we did discover something disturbing, which gave us clues to the whereabouts of the creature. A broken spearhead adorned with the totems of the Black Spider goblin clan. Luthien knew of this clan, and as to where their camp may be. We set off in a westerly direction in search of these foulsome creatures.

The journey took several days to track the goblins down. It was on the second night while resting around the campfire, that I was finally able to regale my companions with a few choice witticisms. And while some of the more pedestrian folk were confused at my rather refined badinage, most were able to follow once I offered up some cruder punnery. I learned some interesting information about my compatriots as well. Luthien had tragically lost her sister to an orc raid on her village when she was young. Puff has a micturition problem (I hear this is common amongst female dragonborn). Berrian spent time in his formative years at an abbey to the south, until some penile deflection incident caused him to rethink his life choices. Miss Vavara had some interesting encounters with an exotic creature during her pilgrimage. I will have to investigate further about this ‘Sunlight Eagle’ with its fervour filled wings of light. And while the very nature of scientific pursuit is one of curiosity, once again Gyna had offered forth some information I’m sure others would ought not to have heard. Apparently she has a proclivity to insert large fruit into her rectum. Which may sound like a shocker to some, but once one observes the profundity at which she stuffs things into her maw, it is no wonder she is able to pa…you know what, never mind. I shall spare you the gory details.


It was while young miss Aelith was taking a go at storytelling when we were set upon my the most surreptitious of creatures. To our folly, we seemed to have set camp amongst a thresh of bloodthorne vines. The vines quickly ensnared poor Aelith and Mr. Meliamne. The pale vine leaves turned the most vibrant colour of red as my fellow travellers were being exsanguinated. But I had little time to observe this chromatic display before my brutish companions starting hacking and chopping away. Don’t they know that there is no nobler sacrifice that to give one’s body to the pursuit of Science?! I would have surely done so myself if I could trust my associates to make the proper observations and examinations. Alas, once again I shall have to be satisfied with studying remains.

It was about midday the next day when we came upon the goblin camp. And not a moment too soon, as it appeared they were about to perform some ritual sacrifice. I shudder at the thought of such a magnificent creature like the moonlight bear being used in some perverse shamanistic rite. Berrian and Luthien moved stealthily around the camp to reconnoitre the scene. A couple of hapless greenskins quickly fell victim to their blades. Now I may not have much experience ranging (as most of my wilderness experience is theoretical), but it seems to me that lighting a tent on fire would be the last thing to do to remain undetected. They disagreed. This soon roused the camp to our presence, so we had no choice but to burst onto the scene and show those gobbos what for! Gyna and Puff made for a good team, moving in from the west, while Vavara supported with her divine invocations from the north. The battle swung back and forth, with blows being traded on each side. Puff once again sacrificed herself for the sake of her companions, falling in battle to a wicked curse from the goblin shaman. But the opening she created allowed Gyna to deliver the fatal strike. With my keen tactical direction from the bushes (one must have the proper vantage point to assess all threats), our team managed to free the bear and route the remaining goblin threat.

Aeltih was reunited with her spirit creature, and we decided to accompany her and the animal back to Forlond. What a joy to see this amazing creature up close and personal! Finally, the fruits of our labours are truly paying dividends!



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